I Don't Belong Here.

True to my English teacher persona, I live in cardigans for half the year. I’ve got an entire dresser drawer dedicated to them, probably a dozen in all. I like the chunky, scratchy wool ones best, but they tend to be, well, scratchy. So I’ve got a good collection of cotton ones too that I can wear with t-shirts and a pair of jeans.

I used to wear nothing but zip-up hoodies in the winter months, most of which featured the logo of some whiny pop punk band on the chest. But like spike belts and swooping hair and nautical star tattoos, they look ridiculous on a grown adult.

Oh, some of you still have those nautical star tattoos? Cool.

I know cardigan sweaters sound like a super-pretentious clothing staple, and that’s because they are. But honestly, my taste in cardigans skews to the affordable side of things rather than deluxe. I don’t have a favorite brand of cardigan, but the majority are from Old Navy, Target’s Goodfellow brand, and Haggar, which I’m pretty sure is sold at J.C. Penney’s.

The one glaring exception to my bargain-basement cardigans is my tan Pendleton Westerly sweater, which I gifted myself for Christmas last year. You might know this sweater better as the one worn by Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski. I like to put this on and have random people recognize it. That way, when they say “hey, nice sweater,” I can respond “yeah, well, that’s just like, your opinion, man.”