tales from the middle.
It started with two blue lines. Two blue lines resulting from bodily fluids reacting with a chemical strip. Melinda came into the bedroom, beaming, pushing this piss-soaked stick into my face. “Look, look,” she said. I had seen this exact scene play out in countless romantic comedies and sitcom plots over the years. It was... Continue Reading →
I’m sick of sweatpants. There, I said it. Back when the world was still turning, sweatpants used to be a reward at the end of the day. I called them my “comfy clothes,” and I’d celebrate a job well done by putting them on and cracking a beer and letting the stress of the day... Continue Reading →
I understand the basic principle of burping a kid, but truthfully, I have never felt so unequipped for a task in my entire life.
Keeps beer cold AND they're bear proof? I'm in.
Who’d have thought naming a new baby could be so stressful?
Being in a thruple isn't as easy as Joe Exotic makes it seem.
I didn't like The Princess Bride? Inconceivable.
Are you sure there aren't two in there?
Being a bartender can get boring, so sometimes, I like to spice things up.
Serious question: You ever shit your pants in a brewery bathroom?
I love social media because you're an idiot.
