I Don't Belong Here.

a humor blog from the trenches of suburbia.

It was my father who instilled in me that any man worth his salt must carry a few items at all times: a watch, a handkerchief, and a good knife. He forced a wristwatch upon me when I was a senior in high school and interning at The Philadelphia Daily News, saying I needed to …

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$13.60 per 3-pack from Amazon Anyone who’s ever met me knows I don’t leave the house without my notebook. It’s something I started doing when I was the manager of the guitar shop to track my daily to-do lists, but over the years it’s morphed into an obsessive routine. Now, in addition to capturing grocery …

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One of my favorite features in New York Magazine is this series called “Things I Can’t Live Without.” Each week, a celebrity writes a shopping list of his favorite little amenities. The whole premise of the feature is that these celebrities aren’t showing off their t-shirts with six-figure price tags or their favorite Pollack that …

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