I Don't Belong Here.

a humor blog from the trenches of suburbia.

This year, a bar opened in my home town for the first time in its three-century history. This might not sound like a big deal, but when your town’s most exciting social venue is a tie between an antique shop and the Wawa parking lot, a new bar is like what Studio 54 must have …

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I’ve never been much of a Halloween guy. It’s probably because the street I grew up on wasn’t very conducive to trick or treating. There aren’t sidewalks, and the houses are pretty far apart, so it would’ve taken four hours to get down the street on my little legs. So each year, my mom would …

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There’s this game I play with my students on the first day of school, where I ask them near the end of the class to write down something they think they know about me. It’s a task I assign for several purposes, most of which are self-serving. I want to take my students’ temperature, see …

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Author’s note: This is the final installment of a multi-part series. For an optimal reader experience, it’s best to read Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, and Part VI first. We make our way to the cafeteria on the second floor via elevator, which Nick uses as an opportunity to mess …

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