The Final Voyage of the S.S. Crapyapants

Everyone has a scarring family story. Mine involves my grandfather and his boat.

Top 5: My Greatest Hits Album

Holy crap, this is my 30th post. Since November, I’ve birthed 62,300 words out into the great abyss of the internet. That’s a couple fewer words than The Sun Also Rises; 16k more than ol’ Scotty wrote in The Great Gatsby. While it would be the humble thing to say I write for myself, that…… Continue Reading →

I Bought a Boat on Craigslist Part III

Hillbilly Logic Where were we? Ah, right. The scene in which I explain an app-based payment service to a convicted felon whose property resembled the aftermath of a natural disaster. I have no idea what led me to believe Mike would understand Venmo. But Brandon, Labas, and I invested the last five hours bearing witness…… Continue Reading →

I Bought a Boat on Craigslist Part II

Hillbilly Show & Tell Despite our first attempt at buying a boat on Craigslist not exactly going the way we anticipated (see Part I), my buddy Brandon and I decided to try our luck again. This time, the advertised 25-foot pontoon boat was a little further away, but sported a recently-rebuilt 90 horse Mercury motor…… Continue Reading →

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